Psychology Essay: Aggression.

What did you see in the theories of aggression that you could take and use with the people in your life who have problems with aggression? How? What could you use to help them should they ask? What will you use to help yourself better handle anger issues you may have?

By way of review - simply put: aggression is any action that's intended to cause harm [be it verbal or physical]. In general, there are two types of aggression:

• Hostile/hot aggression [i.e., you get some sort of satisfaction and emotional reward out of causing any kind of pain].

• Instrumental/cold aggression [i.e., acting aggressive to defend or protect].

There are three major theories on aggression:

• Frustration-Aggression Theory
[Centered on displacement of anger]

• Social Learning Theory
[Centered on learning by example]

• Aggression as an instinct
[Centered on, as the name suggests, innate reasons of aggression - such as fighting for survival]

The one that I seem to highlight the most in my personal life, I suppose would follow under the Social Learning Theory - I personally disgress with being entertained by violent / aggressive acts [i.e., watching movies that glorify violence]. We all have heard reports on the harmful effects of exposure to violent media content, especially in regards to children, but they're largely ignored. "A clear picture has emerged that exposure to violent media increases the likelihood of aggressive thoughts, emotions, and behavior," as writes author Keilah Worth, PhD. Unfortunately, violence is one of the most popular forms of entertainment. That says a lot about society.

Now, what could I use to help someone else, and myself, with aggression?

First and foremost, realize that uncontrolled anger leads to uncontrolled deeds. Anger is a normal and, sometimes, healthy emotion, but - as pretty much everyone knows, if it's uncontrolled, it can be extremely destructive.

Has anyone ever told you to just punch a pillow; a bag; a doll that looks like your ex? It's called Catharsis, and it's widely believed to ease tension and filter aggression - but in reality, it's quite the contrary. The more you act aggressive, the more aggressive you are going to be. When it comes to choosing which anger management techniques to use, keep this in mind: aggression leads to aggression.

"Take a deep breath!" "Count to ten!" "Bite your tongue!" Sound familiar? I recommend reciting them to yourself to calm down inner agitation. In my personal life - when I've felt on the edge of an outburst, I've left right then to go on a walk; not only does removing myself from a heated situation help to calm me down, but it also gives me the peace and quiet that I need in order to collect my thoughts and start focusing on a solution.

I've mentioned in a past essay which stress relieving techniques I personally like to use [here]; whether it's a fleeting annoyance or a full-fledged rage, the same techniques can apply.

Psychology Essay: Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness.

How will you apply the material on assertiveness vs. aggressiveness in your own life?

While it's important to stand up for one's self, an aggressive person does it in a way that violates the rights of others. An aggressive person is inclined towards threatening or intimidating others; malicious teasing; taunting or name-calling; gossiping and slandering; encouraging others to reject or exclude someone; acts of violence, from hitting and pushing to stabbing and rape; etc. In short, an aggressive person looks for some way to force his / her opinion onto someone else by bullying them.

Assertiveness, on the other hand, is based on a diplomatic communication style; it can be thought of as the sweet spot between being too passive and being too aggressive. It shows other people that you respect yourself [by standing up for your interests and you are expressing your thoughts and feelings], and it also shows that you respect other people [by being cognizant of the rights of others and willing to negotiate a mutually satisfying solution]. It creates a win-win situation.

While doing research on the benefits of assertiveness, I also came across this interesting point on mayoclinic.com:

"Some research suggests that being assertive also can help people cope better with many mental health problems, including depression, anorexia, bulimia, social anxiety disorder and schizophrenia."

Personally, there is a lot I am finding in my research of assertive communication that I would like to incorporate into my daily life. For instance, I'd like to revive my old habit of writing thoughts down, especially when they touch on a delicate subject of some sort, before voicing those thoughts out loud. This helped me to filter though my thoughts, so to speak, and to phrase what it was I wished to say in a much more tactful way.

I admit that, during disagreements, I do have a problem with using "you" statements, and I will be working on turning them more into "I" statements [for instance, saying "I disagree" instead of "you're wrong"]. All in all, what it boils down to, is focusing more on building mutual respect. Not only would communication be a lot smoother, but there would be a lot less of unnecessary stress, as well.