Backstabbers Are Only Powerful When Your Back Is Turned.

This is a personal rant.

I've always wondered what it is that people are thinking when they act two-faced. Tell me, sweetie, do you really feel smarter for your sneakiness? Do you really think that people are stupid and can't see the forest for the trees? Do you feel more powerful and in control now? Do you feel good about yourself when you look at your reflection in the mirror?

And you know how wicked you are for it. Would the backstabber cry when stabbed? Louder than anyone.

I've been told many times that backstabbers act the way that they do out of insecurity. I've decided to dwell on that logic - people enjoy power. Some people abuse power, and they do it from fear. No one needs to abuse power when they feel secure; when they know that they are competent and capable; when they have nothing to prove. No one lies or hides if they truly believe that their actions are justifiable. When a person knows that you are better, stronger, or more confident than they are, that's when people use sneakiness as a tactic. They know that they can't match up with you one-on-one. The question that I've battled with myself on this issue is, "Am I willing to give up my integrity and peace of mind on a daily basis in order to play into someone else's misguided power games?" Like anyone who feels in any way betrayed, the popular motto of "Don't get mad - get even" plays on a loop in my head, and I'm so tempted to give that person a taste of his or her own medicine.

There are risks with this. You may be happier. People may gravitate towards you and want to play on your team. You may become a leader and have an army of sorts willing to inflict pain on the other person with you or for you. You could be a shape-shifter, and a damn good one - just like the backstabber you loathe and despise - but how are you any better, then? And again, would the backstabber cry when stabbed? Louder than anyone. With that in mind, is it really in your best interest to continue this cold game of backstabbing and plot revenge?

Whenever I face such a dilemma as this - as if I had a devil and an angel sitting on either shoulder, a voice of reason will chime in my head, as well: 'How about this, though? How about you behave in integrity with your values and refuse to play? Wouldn't that feel better? Would you enjoy each day more? And, eventually, other people will get the message.'

Despite all of my temptations to go along with my default drive of vengeance, I almost always see the wisdom in the peaceful approach, and go along that route, instead. Consider, for instance, the first rule of change: Be the change you want to see in the world. That's what Gandhi said, and I believe it is paramount. How can a person honestly expect behaviors from others that they are not personally demonstrating themselves? I'm not talking about being a wuss, a doormat or a snob. This is about being in integrity with what you value, with being the sort of person that you most wish there was more of in the world. Use your energy, time and resources in ways that make you feel good every day.

After all, this is a quality of life that you're creating. And guess what? If you choose to be mild-tempered, you'll be the one who is promulgating positivity. You'll be the one showing that there is another - a better way - to make it through the day. And, other people just may want you in their life as a result. Why? Because you are easy to be around. That has to be attractive.

In conclusion, here is another note to self:

Your best defense is to be calm, straightforward, and let them know that you know that they have some hidden agenda. That is you calling them out on your court, to compete on your terms - and not letting them use their sneaky approach.

Hang in. Backstabbers lose every day.