"Depression is something that all of us go through, but how does "normal" depression differ from what is experienced by those who struggle with this throughout their lives? What three tips would you give someone who has depression?"
"Normal" depression - or as I like to call it, "just a case of the blues" - is a side effect of life, and anyone may suffer temporarily from one or more of it's symptoms without having a serious problem, such as: a drastic change in mood [anxiety; anger; melancholy; etc.]; aches and pains; change in eating or bowel habits; change in sleeping habits; total hopelessness; feelings of total worthlessness; nothing gives you pleasure; loss of weight; suicidal thoughts; etc.; however, if several symptoms persist, or if any is severe enough that it interferes with your normal activities, you may have a physical illness and need a thorough examination by a doctor, or a serious mental disorder - major depression.
I've had depression since I was about fourteen years old; mine is of the low-grade unipolar sort, but there are many other types of depression as well: chronic depression; manic depression; dysthimic depression; post-partum depression; seasonally-affected depression; anxiety depression; a-typical depression; double depression; endogenous depression; situational/reactional depression; agitated depression; psychotic depression; melancholic depression; catatonic depression; and many other sub-types of depression.
I won't delve into every single type of depression, but I can tell you a little bit about the sort that I have personally: Unipolar. It is similar to bipolar, minus the episodes of mania and hypermania; when it kicks in, I normally only feel a low-grade level of the one low extreme. It can make daily activities difficult, but for the most part, I have learned to cope with them. I don't feel it chronically, thankfully -- I do feel happiness often -- but, unfortunately, it is easily triggered, and can be very difficult to snap out of. Sometimes, it kicks in out of nowhere, when everything is going fine. Finding ways to cope with it has not been easy; for many [fellow] sufferers, ways of trying to hide it commonly include going on pleasure binges; substance abuse; self-abuse; etc.. One thing I would really like to express is that a major contributing factor to these unhealthy, 'alternative' ways of dealing with depression, is an extreme lack of understanding and lack of empathy by society in general.
Lack of understanding:
Many people, when they hear the word "depression", they think back on their own sad moods, how they snapped out of them, and don't understand why sufferers of depression "aren't" doing the same thing. However, many people do take the time to understand it, and doing so is not difficult, so ignorance is not an excuse. One thing, more than anything, I wish people in general would understand, is that depression is not a weakness. It's a disease.
Lack of empathy:
When sufferers of depression need help the most, that is often when people around them act their cruelest, and personal experience has taught me this. Society in general tends to be very selfish; most only want to be around people who are always happy ["fair-weathered friends", I call them]. Depressed people are often looked at by non-sufferers as though they were polluting their air; most do not understand and they do not want to understand - all that matters, is that no one brings them down.
Ironically, I have found the greatest comfort in fellow sufferers of depression [who are trying their best to fight it, might I add]. Unless someone has been in similar shoes -- and not just because they experienced a bad break-up, but because they suffer from it often [if not chronically], and really know how hard it is to find things to be happy about, and yet they are still making that effort -- than you really have no idea what sufferers of depression go through, and how awful it is.
What I would say to a fellow sufferer of depression -- believe it or not, there is actually a positive side to depression [as oxymoronic as that sounds]. It's a disease of the spirit; it attacks your thoughts - however, the more that you recognize this, and the more that you battle it and overcome it, time and again, the more you can work at controlling your thoughts and manipulating them into thinking and focusing on the more positive things. At times, this can be an extremely difficult thing to do - trust me, on the very severe days, even I would scoff at what I'm writing, and when you're going through one of those days, it is very important to find a "plug" of some sort for what you're feeling; for me, this has been creative writing. Maybe keeping a journal would work better for you, or painting; whatever works for you, in releasing those emotions, embrace it. Those feelings need to have a healthy way of getting out of you, for you to successfully ride those waves out.
However, back to what I was saying about positive thinking - as much as you can, practice this; what you choose to focus on, even when it comes to focusing on your depression, is extremely powerful, more so than you may realize. Practicing peaceful thinking can really go a long way in battling your depression. On my really bad days, when I simply can't find anything positive about myself, I try my hardest to find it outside of me; I've trained myself to focus on and celebrate the beauty around me, and to surround myself with it as much as I possibly can. This is one positive part of depression; I've noticed that fellow sufferers tend to be the most wonderful people when it comes to appreciating beauty; we force ourselves to find the beauty in everything, even in the darker aspects of life, in a way that people with healthier brains cannot fathom. We feel more intensely than the average person, and conversely, are connected to beauty in a much more intense way, as well. It is how we train ourselves to cope. Some of the most beautiful people I have ever come across are people who know from experience the truth of what I am saying.
Also, honor your spirit as much as you can, and distance yourself as much as you can from anything vexatious to your spirit. I know from experience that when you suffer from depression, no one can cut your humility sharper than the mental knife that you already own, so remove yourself from people who will only tear you down; the damage can be extremely devastating to people who already suffer from depression.
I also cannot stress the importance of increasing your knowledge of the type of depressive disorder you have, as well; learn as much as you can about yourself, and understand that you are by no means alone - and this is another positive part of your suffering. According to ABC news, depression is a very common illness and, in the United States alone, affects one in seven to eight Americans every year. Contrary to popular opinion, emotions and feelings really are important; if depression teaches us anything, it is the undeniable truth of that statement. Learn to accept who you are, depressive disorder and all, and that you, too, have a right to be here.
Lastly, recognize that your depression is a recognized, treatable illness, so do not be afraid to seek help, support and understanding. It really is out there.
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