What will you take from the material on "Group Conflict" that you will apply in your own life? How will you apply it? What are you already using/doing now that is effective? Give an example.
As everyone knows, conflicts and disputes exist everywhere, among all people, and they are an inevitable part of life. Group conflicts involve several elements - including emotions, needs, perceptions, power, and values. Emotions and feelings can complicate or create conflicts, particularly when suppressed or ignored, and are strongest when issues of personal expression, self-concept, shame, and pride are involved. They also often lead to anger and potentially violent outbursts. Power also influences conflicts, and the misuse of power causes conflicts.
The material also brought out this good point:
Even when there are measures in place to prevent failure - trust, reliable avenues for communication, a competent leader, and a sense of how to resolve conflicts over group goals and personal issues are necessary.
Covey’s seven-habit philosophy is a useful tool for managing and avoiding conflict. As he brings out in his book, the process of honest and open communication and an attitude of seeking understanding lead to more effective and constructive interactions among people. It's also very important to learn how to think win-win, as opposed to win-lose. Look for solutions that are mutually beneficial.
A common response to conflict is the "fight or flight" response. By default, most people tend to either respond aggressively [i.e., forcing and competing], or otherwise, retreating [i.e., remaining silent and giving in] - but neither fighting nor fleeing is a constructive response to conflict. Instead of thinking fight-or-flight, think unite.
One important thing in particular that I would like to bring out about being competitive within the group that one should be working with, and not against - analyze what competition is for a moment. Competition is a struggle between members that determines which viewpoint is dominant without permitting the option of compromise. While having a competitive edge in business is good when dealing with competition, it can destroy the social bonds that preserve the group [i.e., lack of progress and resentment] if directed towards one's team and especially if left unchecked.
I really liked this point from the material this week:
Compromise and collaboration tend to generate mutually satisfactory outcomes. Collaboration involves three elements:
• Confrontation
- Open and honest acknowledgment and addressing of problems.
• Integration
- Examining options and decision making.
• Smoothing
- Calming upset feelings and renewing relationships.
It is generally the result of honest mutual concern about the issue and the welfare of all the group members - and it usually results in a win-win solution, fosters commitment and positivity, and reduces conflict.
This goes beyond business; this can definitely be applied into daily, personal life. This is wonderful advice for sorting out conflicts of all kinds. Personally, I'll admit that when I feel unheard, my default reaction is a defensive one - and this stems from a feeling that no one else will do this for me. It's a reaction rooted in fear, more than anger. The material on integrating differences is very practical knowledge, and helpful to me, personally. Mary Parker Follett emphasized creative and mutually beneficial solutions - "this approach focuses on not merely collaboration and cooperation between parties, but also recognition of the needs of both and an intent to meet both sets of needs."
To my credit, it's safe to say that I'm fairly good at not lying to myself; I call it like I see it, even with myself. Maintaining meaningful relationships is important to me, because I value the input from people that I love and trust. Only to a point, do I now accept the 'take me as I am' mentality that so many people place value on - while I do get the point of what many people are trying to get across by that statement, I don't allow myself to use this as an excuse for not building character. I'm always interested in bettering myself - and I know I'm not perfect, so the reality is, there will always be need for improvement - therefore, I'm going to try my best to keep improving. Therefore, I value constructive criticism, and I am open to what people honestly tell me out of love.
I also am fairly good at demonstrating empathy. I try my best to be there for people I care about, and listen to them; I highly encourage others to develop [and hold onto] this beautiful quality, as well. I've managed to hold onto it, despite how some people have taken it for granted and abused it in the past, and I'm so glad that I have. I know for a fact that the rewarding relationships I am now able to enjoy, would not be the same without it, and I know that I am a better person for having it.
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