I Read the News Today, Oh Boy.

[In my English class, we had an assignment on properly quoting an article; as sort of a way to commemorate the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, I'm sharing this assignment in here].

Reference List Entry for Article:

Costello, Maureen [December 8, 2010]. I Heard the News Today, Oh Boy. Retrieved from here.


Direct Quotation and Internal Citation:

Maureen Costello, a contributing author for Teaching Tolerance, recalled this memory upon the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon:

I don’t remember the next day [after John Lennon’s murder] very well, but one of my former students, Denise, does. We reconnected at her high school reunion last year, and shortly afterward, we became Facebook friends. On December eighth, she sent me this message:

"Twenty-nine years ago, you canceled your history class and played The Beatles’ music for us. I believe you even turned off the lights, and said something like, “I have no words, so let's listen to his.” As I recall, we all sat in silence. It was a beautiful tribute, since there really were no words. I never thanked you for that ... thank you!”

Another student chimed in, “I can't believe you remember that!”

Denise replied, “I never forgot it; I just never had the opportunity to say, 'Thanks'. It made a terrible day a little better for us.”

Paraphrased Material and Internal Citation:

In her contributing article for Teaching Tolerance, Maureen Costello states that, even though there was music that John Lennon still had to give the day he died, and was denied the chance to share it; even though we can only imagine the work that he would have continued to do for peace in his later years – he still continued to have a powerful affect on us today, when it comes to displaying tolerance, peace, love and a sense of self – even in death. Listening to music in the classroom together, and as a sort of community, morphing together in shared retrospect and tribute, brought a sense of togetherness – and that became a very memorable, moving and powerful lesson for the entire class that day. [Costello, Maureen; December 8, 2010; Retrieved from here.]

* * * * * *

Yes, we have to say it. Remember, this is just a football game - no matter who wins or loses. An unspeakable tragedy confirmed to us by ABC News in New York City: John Lennon, outside of his apartment building on the West Side of New York City - the most famous, perhaps, of all of The Beatles - shot twice in the back, rushed to Roosevelt Hospital: dead on arrival. Hard to go back to the game after that news flash - which, in duty bound, we have to take.

- Howard Cosell
[Reporting Lennon's death on-air during Monday Night Football on December 8, 1980]

This Is What Oppression Is:

op·pres·sion
   /əˈprɛʃən [uh-presh-uhn]
–noun

1. the exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner.
2. an act or instance of oppressing.
3. the state of being oppressed.
4. the feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally or physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc.


Origin:
1300–50; ME oppressioun
a pressing down, equiv. to oppress ( us ) ( see oppress) + -iōn- -ion

—Synonyms
tyranny, despotism, persecution, hardship, suffering.

—Antonyms
kindness, justice.

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.


* * * * * *

Ever wonder why some people believe their spiritual or religious belief is the only way to God and try to force it on us? It is simply because they believe in what they believe so much. So just discredit other religions or spiritual paths, and scream "religious persecution!" louder than anyone when it's happening to you? The truth about self-righteousness, is that not many people realize it is really vanity in action. Some religious people are so anti-blasphemy -- but do they realize that their beliefs are blasphemous to someone else? Do you know how to treat other people with love and dignity - even those who believe differently than you do? Do you even care to? Some of you saviors may believe you are born to save others.


Do you think that love is forcing change on others, or accepting others for what they are and letting them grow at the pace that they are comfortable with?

When we love, we don’t force our religion on others.


When we love, we don’t give people ultimatums. When we love, we don't force our beliefs and opinions on other people. When we love, we honor and respect the sanctity of another person's belief system. When we love, we simply love. So the next time you think of punishing and inflicting suffering on other people for not believing in what you do - before you think, "there has to be serious consequences" - think about love. Will love do that? Are you doing that?

Especially when you're preaching about living in a peaceful new world, should you think twice before attempting to justify acts of oppression with so-called noble intentions. No one should have to live in fear of having their own belief system, or feel forced into a religion. Is that even what your religion teaches? - that people have no free will or choice? That the true religion would be marked by forced coercion? That God is bloodthirsty and can't wait to kill anyone who does not agree? Is this the same happy God of love and peace that you're preaching to me and to everyone else about?

You twist beautiful principles of love into something ugly, and you use a message of peace to spread misery and hatred.

Don't tell me that you're doing this out of fear for my welfare and happiness.

Critical Thinking: Charity Relief Project

Here in the United States, the majority of us complain about having to work too hard - often, for the sake of buying things that we don't even really need. The truth of the matter is, there is a high standard of living in the United States. Yes, poverty has not been completely eradicated in this country; there are still many homeless people in the streets, and our economy has suffered a downward spiral in recent years - but it is safe to say, that we still lead a fairly spoiled lifestyle. If we don't own car, we have cheap public transportation at our disposal; we have welfare in this country; we have safehouses for people who suffer abuse; etc. Most of us can't even begin to fathom what true poverty really is.

"Generations have been working jobs they hate, just so they can buy things they don't really need."
- Fight Club, Chuck Palahnuik

During this season of giving and good cheer, let's do our part to make a positive difference in this world.

However, our charity strives to accomplish even more than helping those in poverty. As will be discussed in the last part of this report, we also aim to help women who have had to suffer greatly for simply being women. Most women in the United States have never had to live with such an intense fear of harassment, murder, rape, genital mutilation, etc., as women in Iraq have. In addition to helping fight poverty and famine, let's also do our part to defend dignity and equal human rights.

We can help these people.

The following are excerpt of articles taken from the three countries that we are primarily focusing our charities on: Cambodia, Africa and Iraq.

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CAMBODIA:

Time magazine made this statement that sums up the plight of thousands of Cambodians, who are dying daily: "Battered by war, famine and disease, the refugees' faces reflected the plight of a country that has become the Auschwitz of Asia."

In February 2001, Asian Rights Human News reported that "For as little as .40, poor mothers and fathers are known to have sold babies to "procurers" from orphanages. In this Third World nation where most cannot afford two meals a day, a few orphanages cater to Westerners willing to pay thousands of dollars in adoption fees."

Heang Ny, a 24-year-old mother in Cambodia, was begging outside a Buddhist temple when a woman approached and persuaded the young widow to sell her 6-month-old son, Pich Thea. "I didn't have any money, I couldn't produce milk, and my baby was getting skinny," she said. "When I heard these people would feed my son and give him a future, I wanted him to go stay with them."

According to S.C.A.O. [Save the Children in Asia Organization], more than one-third of the entire population is under fifteen years of age. The children of Cambodia follow an uprooted, war-torn, disoriented and lost generation still heavily marked by HIV, tuberculosis, child labor, child trafficking and child abuse.

Imagine this is you.

Imagine this is your child.

Poverty and starvation is NO life for a child.

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AFRICA:

According to the United Nations:

• A child dies every three seconds from AIDS and extreme poverty, often before their fifth birthday.
  
• More than 90 percent are suffering long-term malnourishment and micro-nutrient deficiency.
  
• About 120,000 African children are participating in armed conflicts. Some are as young as 7 years old.
  
• Only 57% of African children are enrolled in primary education, and one in three of those does not complete school.

One poor African has been quoted as saying:

“I know poverty, because poverty was there before I was born, and it has become a part of life like the blood through my veins. Poverty is not going empty for a single day and getting something to eat the next day. Poverty is going empty with no hope for the future. Poverty is getting nobody to feel your pain, and poverty is when your dreams go in vain, because nobody is there to help you. Poverty is watching your mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters die in pain and in sorrow just because they couldn't get something to eat. Poverty is hearing your grandmothers and grandfathers cry out to death to come take them because they are tired of this world. Poverty is watching your own children and grandchildren die in your arms but there is nothing you can do. Poverty is watching your children and grandchildren share tears in their deepest sleep. Poverty is suffering from HIV/AIDS and dying a shameful death, but nobody seems to care. Poverty is when you hide your face and wish nobody could see you, just because you feel less than a human being. Poverty is when you dream of bread and fish you never see in the day light. Poverty is when people accuse you and prosecute you for no fault of yours - but who is there to say something for you? Poverty is when the hopes of your fathers and grandfathers just vanish within a blink of an eye. I know poverty, and I know poverty just like I know my father's name. Poverty never sleeps. Poverty works all day and night. Poverty never takes a holiday."

According to Cozay Group, an equal human rights organization, "a child dies every three seconds in Africa. More than 30000 children will die today from poverty. HIV/AIDS and malaria kill every second in sub-Saharan Africa."

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IRAQ:

A human rights organization called openDemocracy reported the following on July 17, 2005:

Violent oppression of women is spreading across Iraq, a weapon of mass mental and physical destruction. And yet there is silence from world leaders, religious leaders, politicians and the media. Insurgents and religious extremists use rape, acid and assassination to force Iraqi women to wear the veil – the symbol of submission, first signal of further repression to come. Many Iraqi women have never worn the scarf. Now, dead bodies of girls and women are found in rivers and on waste ground with a veil tied around the head, as a message.

As well as unveiled women, key targets are those who wear make-up, who are well educated and in the professions, and who work with organizations connected with the coalition forces.

It is clear what the Islamic fundamentalist men want for women. Using the will of Allah as cover, they pursue women’s conformity to almost any interpretation of the Qu’ran. They demand women’s submission to any male authority. Women are to lead lives without voices, as the social, political and economic inferiors of men, even of 12-year-old boys.

The challenge for men and women committed to democracy and human rights is to trigger a campaign of commitment from the world on the scale of “Make Poverty History”, to make murder and violence against women in Iraq (and the world) history, and to punish the perpetrators. To quote the suffragette slogan: Iraqi women need deeds not words. And they need them now.

* * * * * *

HOW WE CAN HELP:

We will be hosting a charity event accepting donations. This is our chance for us to help out these people who are suffering. A little help is better than no help.

The event will be held at The Cambodian Christian Church on Temple and PCH. We are setting up tables that accept different items, and all of these items will be collected and shipped to the three different locations: Cambodia, Africa and Iraq. Each item donated will be distributed equally.

The charity organizations that we will be donating these items too are the following:

• The People Improvement Organization (PIO) was established in 2002 by Mrs. Phymean Noun and was officially registered at the Ministry of the Interior the same year. PIO is a non political, non religious, non government organization. They provide education, vocational training and support to the poorest communities in Cambodia, with a focus on girls, orphans and street children. Many of these families are living with HIV/AIDs or other serious health issues and are the very poorest communities in Cambodia.
• The Ball For All Organization will be where balls are donated for impoverished schoolchildren in Africa.
• Women For Women supports women in war-torn regions with financial and emotional aid, job-skills training, rights education and small business assistance so they can rebuild their lives.
  

The exact date, time and location for this event are as follows:

• Date: Sunday, December 19th, 2010, 12pm – 4pm
• Location: Cambodian Christian Church
• Accepted Items: Pillows, blankets, baby clothes, baby shoes, kids clothes, kids shoes, women's clothes, men's clothes, canned food, eggs, balls for playing sports, and money.
• Marketing: We will market this event through Facebook, fliers and word of mouth.
• Misc: We will also have this day video recorded and photographed for our records.

* * * * * *

REFERENCES:

• Decard, Chris. February 12, 2002. "Cambodia: Starving Cambodians Sell Babies". Asia Human Rights News. Retrieved from: http://www.ahrchk.net/news/mainfile.php/ahrnews_200102/420/
• [Everything quoted for Africa came directly from the home page for the Cozay group; I was unable to find the date and exact author of the quoted words, but they were retrieved from here: http://cozay.com/]
• Abdela, Lesley. July 17, 2005. "Iraq's War On Women". openDemocracy. Retrieved from: http://www.opendemocracy.net/conflict-iraqconflict/women_2681.jsp

If Not Now, Then When?

Excerpt from this article.

You have been raised to believe that thinking of yourself is selfish.

So often in life, we end up living our lives based on what others want, because we haven't got the confidence and self-belief to say 'No'. Maybe our parents expect us to live a certain life ... and so we continue to live a life based on keeping them happy.

Now, of course, if you have responsibilities, it is important to honour them. This is not about abandoning areas of your life that you have committed yourself to. What this is about, is standing up for yourself; putting yourself first; considering your own needs and being brave. It's a common phenomenon that people like to put you in a box, give you a role - and if you don't perform as they expect, they react - maybe they get moody, maybe they get angry; but you can bet they'll make you feel bad for daring to upset their reality.

What you must remember is: if you do have people in your life who make you feel like you have a role to perform, and they make you feel guilty if you don’t, then who’s needs are they considering? Their own! - and if you are considering their needs, and they are considering their needs, then who’s looking after you?

Thinking of yourself is not selfish; thinking only of yourself, to the detriment of others, is selfish. Remember, we are talking about adults here; people who can take care of themselves. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have a responsibility to make them happy. That is their responsibility.

Making your happiness as a priority is not being selfish.

Excerpt from this article:

In the shame/blame-based culture we live in, we are made to feel that we are responsible for everyone and everything’s welfare: it puts the focus on you! It teaches you that you should feel guilty over other people’s failures; that it is your fault and to see yourself as the failure, or the problem, because you didn’t fix it or prevent it: you are supposed to take all of the blame.

If you don’t accept it and instead ask others to take ownership and responsibility for their actions and choices - and stand up for yourself - you are told that you are wrong, selfish, aggressive and mean. It is not selfish, mean, insensitive, or inconsiderate: you are just taking ownership and responsibility for you. There is nothing in that sick, dysfunctional environment to justify other people’s failures being all thrown on you - they need to take ownership or responsibility for own their lives.

People who truly love you will not further negative self-images you have of yourself.

Those people invalidate any claim of loving or caring about you when they back you into that corner and make you out to be the selfish, or the mean one, and try to get you to “back down” - when all you are doing, is simply holding out for your own self, and asking them to have some personal accountability, as well. Being assertive means being able to express and stand-up for your feelings, opinions, beliefs, and needs - directly, openly and honestly - without violating the personal rights of others at the same time. It means standing up for yourself. You have a right to your own mind and to your own opinion. No one, not even your closest relative, has the right to demand thinking for you.

Assertive behavior is often confused with aggression. The difference is that aggressive behavior is self-enhancing at the expense of others; other people’s feelings and rights are ignored, violated and not taken into consideration. An assertive person does consider others - and asks for and stands-up for - the same thing in return.

NOTE TO SELF.

Critical Thinking Discussion: Generational Core Values.

Each generation bases their decisions on their own core values. What are your core values? Make a list of your core values and then select two, and only two, that you feel illustrate your own personal core values.

My personal core values are [in no particular order]:

• Individuality
• Creativity
• Diversity
• Tolerance
• Honesty
• Integrity
• Empathy
• Hope
• Morality
• Family
• Achievement

The two that I feel are the most important to me are tolerance and empathy. I list this even over family, because [the way I see it, anyway], one's relationship with one's family is directly influenced by a display -- and by a lack of -- these two qualities, as well as bearing directly on one's social interactions in general. I think that the Millennial Generation's [in general] willingness and ability to accept others, even when they are different, says a lot about how far we've come from generations in the past, who had been raised with values steeped in prejudice and racism. Tolerant and empathetic people are not only better at displaying warmth and understanding, but they are also more socially competent -- and socially competent people are more successful in life. So, really, these qualities are just as essential as any academic training.

The fact is, we live in a diverse world, so not only are these traits desirable -- they are necessary.

Backstabbers Are Only Powerful When Your Back Is Turned.

This is a personal rant.

I've always wondered what it is that people are thinking when they act two-faced. Tell me, sweetie, do you really feel smarter for your sneakiness? Do you really think that people are stupid and can't see the forest for the trees? Do you feel more powerful and in control now? Do you feel good about yourself when you look at your reflection in the mirror?

And you know how wicked you are for it. Would the backstabber cry when stabbed? Louder than anyone.

I've been told many times that backstabbers act the way that they do out of insecurity. I've decided to dwell on that logic - people enjoy power. Some people abuse power, and they do it from fear. No one needs to abuse power when they feel secure; when they know that they are competent and capable; when they have nothing to prove. No one lies or hides if they truly believe that their actions are justifiable. When a person knows that you are better, stronger, or more confident than they are, that's when people use sneakiness as a tactic. They know that they can't match up with you one-on-one. The question that I've battled with myself on this issue is, "Am I willing to give up my integrity and peace of mind on a daily basis in order to play into someone else's misguided power games?" Like anyone who feels in any way betrayed, the popular motto of "Don't get mad - get even" plays on a loop in my head, and I'm so tempted to give that person a taste of his or her own medicine.

There are risks with this. You may be happier. People may gravitate towards you and want to play on your team. You may become a leader and have an army of sorts willing to inflict pain on the other person with you or for you. You could be a shape-shifter, and a damn good one - just like the backstabber you loathe and despise - but how are you any better, then? And again, would the backstabber cry when stabbed? Louder than anyone. With that in mind, is it really in your best interest to continue this cold game of backstabbing and plot revenge?

Whenever I face such a dilemma as this - as if I had a devil and an angel sitting on either shoulder, a voice of reason will chime in my head, as well: 'How about this, though? How about you behave in integrity with your values and refuse to play? Wouldn't that feel better? Would you enjoy each day more? And, eventually, other people will get the message.'

Despite all of my temptations to go along with my default drive of vengeance, I almost always see the wisdom in the peaceful approach, and go along that route, instead. Consider, for instance, the first rule of change: Be the change you want to see in the world. That's what Gandhi said, and I believe it is paramount. How can a person honestly expect behaviors from others that they are not personally demonstrating themselves? I'm not talking about being a wuss, a doormat or a snob. This is about being in integrity with what you value, with being the sort of person that you most wish there was more of in the world. Use your energy, time and resources in ways that make you feel good every day.

After all, this is a quality of life that you're creating. And guess what? If you choose to be mild-tempered, you'll be the one who is promulgating positivity. You'll be the one showing that there is another - a better way - to make it through the day. And, other people just may want you in their life as a result. Why? Because you are easy to be around. That has to be attractive.

In conclusion, here is another note to self:

Your best defense is to be calm, straightforward, and let them know that you know that they have some hidden agenda. That is you calling them out on your court, to compete on your terms - and not letting them use their sneaky approach.

Hang in. Backstabbers lose every day.

Critical Thinking Project: Fundraising For Cancer.

["Rough Draft Idea" - Week Three]

Horton, Paula (2010, April 25). 2-year-old loses eye to rare cancer. TriCity Herald. Retrieved from: http://www.tri-cityherald.com/2010/04/25/990098/2-year-old-loses-eye-to-rare-cancer.html?storylink=addthis.

This article, as the title suggests, reports on a two-year old girl who was diagnosed with Retinoblastoma, a rare form of eye cancer, and lost an eye because of it. The reason I decided to use this article for the project this week is because it lists basic facts about the disease that our team's fundraising would focus on.

↑ PERSONAL NOTE: I'm not entirely sure what this has to do with the goal of fundraising for a benefit - O.o - but, the team asked me to research eye cancer a little bit and to find an article on the topic, so - there you have it.


* * * * *


Cancer Fund-raising Ideas [Budget cannot exceed $1,000]

I think that hosting a Relay would be the easiest way to raise money -- initially, I wanted to host an event that would have food, music, games, etc., but not only would that be a lot of work, but it would most likely exceed our team's expense budget. In my opinion, our best bet is to host a fundraising walk, hosted by volunteer workers, with the idea of increasing awareness of the disease. It would be $10 to walk - and if we can get 500 people to walk in our event, than we have raised $5,000 to benefit the American Cancer Society. We would take this opportunity to celebrate with the survivors of cancer, as well as honoring the memory of those who have died from the disease. I would like to suggest to my team that we host this event at a school; not only would a school track be a great choice for this event, but it would also be a great place to begin spreading awareness; the likelihood of our attracting at least 500 people would greatly be increased.

Basically, the tasks to be completed [in order] are as follows:

- Find a school location for the use of their track.
- Round up volunteer workers, to ensure everything runs smoothly and that people are paying an entry fee of $10 to walk.

*Edited: Idea pitch of mandatory entry fee has been waived.

Top Ten Things Women Should Know About Men.

By Angel Za

1. There are two types of men - the honorable and the dishonorable man.
You must never get married until you learn to tell the difference between the two types of men. Your life will be trashed if you choose to be with a man who has no integrity and self-control.

2. Good men need to be treated like good men - and dishonorable males are meant to be left alone.
Ladies - we should adore, support, and give well-earned respect to our good men who do try their best to handle their responsibilities. No man is perfect, but the ones that really do try their best - these men are such treasures, and they will never turn back to the women that hate them simply for the things that the other dishonorable men do. Do stroke their ego sometimes and respect their manhood. If he deserves your praise, then give him praise - and often. Please cherish him.

3. Deceitful, manipulative, promiscuous and selfish women are not worthy of an honorable man.
They never were and never will be.

4. Dishonorable men do not practice self-control in limiting blood flow between his brain and his stick.
It doesn’t matter if you are the hottest thing in town; he would still sleep around - and sooner or later, give you a disease or two on top of it.

5. The dishonorable man treats sex as a de-stressing sport, you as a trophy, and any child as a result of your relationship as simply a by-product.
If he doesn’t care about the kids, treats you like a whore, and he doesn’t mind his friends’ sleaziness or bad-mouthing you - leave him.

6. If he pressures you to lower your standards on sexuality / is demanding of sex from you / talks lustily with you - and most especially if you are not his girlfriend or his wife -
There is no need to contemplate or wonder. He does not honor or respect you.

7. He doesn't take dating very seriously.
These men view relationships as transitory - which, in reality, prepares them for divorce rather than marriage. Would you like to date an overgrown child who plays with your feelings and treats you like a new toy - and then discards you when bored? You may want to say that dating should be just for fun, but it's no fun when one person is taking it seriously and the other isn't.

8. If you choose to be with the dishonorable male -
You have no right to whine or cry if you choose to hang on to those uncouth, barbaric, bastard men who manipulate, threaten, lie and undermine you. They torch your emotions; abuse you; leave you pregnant and alone; jeopardize your safety [if children are in the picture, than your 'romance' is jeopardizing their safety as well], and is otherwise harming or hurting you. There are many men out there who enjoy hurting women in any way they can; it gives them a sense of control and power. If you choose to be with such an abusive man, be sure to be his punching bag and door mat. Please indulge and enjoy every bit of heartache that you choose to keep holding onto - and don’t torment your genuine friends and any family members that actually do care about you, with listening to your complaints if you choose to ignore any and all advice. Remember! - “Zero” tolerances. You have the power to choose, and if you choose to remain with that type of man, than this is the type of life that you've chosen. Enjoy every minute of it.

9. "But everyone has hidden vices."
Wrong! Throw your own skeletons out of your closet, and don’t let them handicap you further - and be fair to the honorable men that are out there, as well. Don’t judge every man because of the actions of the stupid, selfish and dishonorable ones.

10. "By sticking around him and killing off other competitors, he’s going to marry me some day!"
"If we sleep together, will he like me better?" "If I move in with him, is he going to marry me?” The answer: “Not Likely”. Doubt me? Feel free to examine the ever-growing list of disillusioned women who are waiting for their non-committal lover to marry them. After going over what makes a man a dishonorable one, ladies - do you honestly believe that such a man would marry the woman who is desperate for him? And even if he did - do you honestly believe that he is the type of man who is willing to live up to his vows, or view his wife as a hindrance / spare tire?

NOTE TO SELF.

English Discussion: Word Choice and Diction.

What type of words are appropriate in your college papers? How does this relate to the kind of language you will use in the business world? Give an example of what you would consider as "slang." Why is slang not appropriate? What does "tone" mean? How are word choice and tone related?

When you write a paper, you are writing with the goal of enlightening and educating your reader, and to persuade your audience into viewing something from your perspective - therefore, it is important that you make every word count. This does not mean using antiquated or complicated language; especially for your college and business papers, it is best that you keep your language as clear, concise, and easy-to-understand as possible. Even so, however, it is important that the words that you say sound professional; conversational / informal / slang language will come across as juvenile and immature.

Think of it this way - before you share a business letter or a college paper with a colleague / boss / professor, read your writing aloud to yourself, and then ask yourself: Does it sound like I'm talking to that person during a break in high school? Or at a bar? - Or am I using the full power of my linguistic skills to command the attention and respect of my reader?

English Assignment: Narrative Essay.

START A REVOLUTION:
STOP HATING YOUR BODY.

It disappoints me whenever I think on the trend of getting needless cosmetic surgery to fit society's definition of external beauty. So many girls have paid so much money and gone through so much pain in a desperate effort to fit into someone else's definition of beauty.

Ladies, do we really think so little of our own bodies that we are willing to slice and dice ourselves so that other people will stop and stare? Has it ever occurred to you that you don’t have to be pretty?

I definitely understand esteem issues, but I'm referring to more than a normal 'I want to look nice today', or 'I feel ugly today' - I mean extreme self-loathing, and especially from girls who, in reality, have nothing wrong with them. Not all cosmetic surgery is bad -- there is such a thing as reconstructive surgery, for example, and personally, I am not against surgery in those cases. But ladies - is there really a serious defect, or serious damage done to your body, that you wish to correct - or are you allowing society to dictate how you view your own body?

The media and doctors often only show people the glamorous side of going under the knife - call me crazy, but I personally believe that the public should be aware of all aspects of it. What do famous celebrities who have had plastic surgeries have to say on it? Do all of them really have no regrets? Do they really feel better about their bodies, now that they have been nipped and tucked / enhanced / injected into? Is it really just a matter of finding the right surgeon? If these are some of the questions going through your minds, ladies, than perhaps a honest and open opinion from a celebrity who can afford the best of the best when it comes to surgeons may be just the thing you need to hear.



According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the 24-year old Reality TV star Heidi Montag went under the knife to have around 10 surgeries in one day, previously stating that she had "no regrets" about the procedures. However, the former star of The Hills now claims that she wasn't warned about the dangers of cosmetic surgery and sometimes wishes she "could go back to the original Heidi".

"I don't want the biggest boobs in the world and, to be honest, I would take them out and downsize them but I don't want to go under the knife again," the New York Daily News quoted her as saying.

"I thought that first night that I came out of the hospital, I was gonna die out of pain," she recalled. "I didn't think I could physically endure that much pain. I mean, I looked like I was hit by a truck. My body went through so much trauma ... little precision cuts, you know, throughout my entire body." She says she "couldn't even go to the bathroom. I couldn't even walk for days. My face was so swollen. You know, my ear, everything had stitches on it. My back was black and blue. No one should look like that. You should only look like that if an accident happened and you're fighting to survive."

You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. You don’t owe it to your mother; you don’t owe it to your children; you don't owe it to your boyfriend, spouse or partner; you don't owe it to your co-workers - and you especially don't owe it to random men on the street.

Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

English Discussion: Point of View [POV].

Writers consider point of view when they write a document. Point of view is defined as the vantage point from which a writer tells a story. Personal narratives are written in the first person, which means the narrator is a character in the story.

Consider how the events in a narrative would be perceived differently if someone other than the narrator told them. Think of the narrative that you are writing this week. Would one of the individuals in your narrative perceive and describe the events differently? Why or why not? What would a possible drawback be of using first person?

The point of view affects everything about the scene in which you are attempting to write, so careful consideration should definitely be given towards who's perspective you are wishing to place your reader in. This is comparable to an artist in the process of painting a portrait; the method that you use in telling the story, is similar to a painter choosing which tools he decides would work best in successfully transferring what he sees in his mind's eye, onto a blank canvas. The tools are all of them useful in equal measure - you simply have to know when it is best to use one, or the other.

The way that I see it, the POV that you decide to write from entirely depends upon the genre of the story, and the mood that you are wishing to capture - so really, there is no absolute right or wrong vantage point from which to tell your tale. The drawbacks and rewards of any point of view are dependent on many factors, and is therefore subjective.

For my personal short story that I am writing this week, I am choosing to use the first person POV. Going along with the things that I stated in the preceding paragraph, I personally wouldn't look at this as a potential 'drawback' - but this is important to keep in mind, if you at all wish to write well. When you are writing from this approach, it is impossible to treat the situation objectively, or the narrator as being omnipotent. What I mean by that is, in the first person perspective, you are solely inside of my mind; you are feeling only what I feel; you are reading only my thoughts. I cannot jump into another person's head; you are only, and completely, inside of my brain. Conversely, if I used a third person POV, than you - the reader - are merely an observer, and thus, distanced from the inner mind of any particular character.

Psychology Essay: Social Influence.

What material from the "Social Influence Effects" will you use in your own life? How?

Personally, I have very often wondered what leads people to fall victim to conformity and compliance - particularly, with groupthinking [i.e., group pressure], so I found this section of the material particularly interesting.

Here are the eight symptoms of "Groupthink", as defined by social psychologist Irving Janis:

• An illusion of invulnerability, which results in excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.

• Collective rationalization in which group members disregard warnings and do not challenge their own assumptions.

• A belief in inherent morality that leads members to believe in the rightness of their cause and ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.

•The presence of stereotyped views of out-groups, or negative views of people who are outside the group, making effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.

• Evidence of direct pressure on dissenters, such as when members are under pressure not to express arguments against the group’s views.

• A sense of self-censorship in which individual members do not express doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus.

• An illusion of unanimity, in which the majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.

• The presence of self-appointed “mindguards,” or members who protect the group and it's leaders from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decisions.

Groupthink can be prevented when leaders actively solicit various opinions and expert assessments and when people are assigned to conduct risk assessment. Soliciting the opinions, ideas, and perspectives of people outside the group increases the likelihood of a neutral assessment.

Personally, especially in regards to stating an opinion on what I consider to be a matter of importance, I need time to consider the issue alone, maybe even writing down what I think or feel on the matter, and possibly ideas about a solution. I'm very aware of and sensitive to how powerful this really is, and especially in the past few years of my life, I've made it a point to not fall victim to it; I don't want to ever be responsible for making a faulty decision; lose my mental efficiency; sense of reality; my moral judgment; self-identity, as a result of group pressure.

Psychology Essay: Attitudes.

What will you take from the material on changing attitudes that you will use or help others apply? How?

I've personally seen the truth in this point in my own life:

"[Persuasion] tends to be more effective as an attitude-changing tool when one or more of certain conditions are met, including:

Invisibility of persuasive attempts

A person who realizes that he is being persuaded is more likely to consciously mobilize change-resistant behaviors, but one who is unaware of the attempt to change his mind is less likely to become defensive. A person with a very strong attitude is more likely to notice and react defensively to subtle persuasive attempts than someone with a milder attitude."

Simply put, this is done by using positive reinforcement for desired behaviours and words, and tactfully not approving of the undesired ones. In situations where an individual feels that his/her personal freedom to make decisions is being curtailed, he/she may respond by acting in an opposite fashion [i.e., reactance].

Now, I am against manipulation [which is a form of emotional abuse], obsessive demands to one's way of thinking, and classifying those not sharing the same beliefs and opinions as I, as inferior and not worthy of respect. However, I can see the tactic I've stated above as being useful if being applied [in a loving way] towards a loved one who, for instance, has perhaps developed prejudices.

Psychology Essay: Attribution.

What in the material on attribution do you see applying to yourself? Why?

Attributions:
Judgments people make about the reasons things happen.
[Often influenced by a person's previous experience, personality, and other factors].

As I touched on in the discussion forum this week, I personally related to battling the Self-Serving Bias, in which people attribute their successes to internal or personal factors but attribute their failures to situational factors beyond their control. Have you ever known people that liked to judge themselves by their motives, and everyone else by their actions? People that loved to take credit for any success, but had no problem shifting responsibility when facing negative consequences? It seems convenient to me, too; it usually kicks in to spare one's self-esteem and image.

I don't believe that I suffer from the "illusory superiority" that's related to this common human tendency; nevertheless, this default response is one that I personally don't like in myself, and I'm therefore a little sensitive towards seeing it in other people [because I work hard on not being that way, it irritates me when I see other people living in self-denial and not trying] - which is yet, another thing I try to keep balanced with.

Psychology Essay: Aggression.

What did you see in the theories of aggression that you could take and use with the people in your life who have problems with aggression? How? What could you use to help them should they ask? What will you use to help yourself better handle anger issues you may have?

By way of review - simply put: aggression is any action that's intended to cause harm [be it verbal or physical]. In general, there are two types of aggression:

• Hostile/hot aggression [i.e., you get some sort of satisfaction and emotional reward out of causing any kind of pain].

• Instrumental/cold aggression [i.e., acting aggressive to defend or protect].

There are three major theories on aggression:

• Frustration-Aggression Theory
[Centered on displacement of anger]

• Social Learning Theory
[Centered on learning by example]

• Aggression as an instinct
[Centered on, as the name suggests, innate reasons of aggression - such as fighting for survival]

The one that I seem to highlight the most in my personal life, I suppose would follow under the Social Learning Theory - I personally disgress with being entertained by violent / aggressive acts [i.e., watching movies that glorify violence]. We all have heard reports on the harmful effects of exposure to violent media content, especially in regards to children, but they're largely ignored. "A clear picture has emerged that exposure to violent media increases the likelihood of aggressive thoughts, emotions, and behavior," as writes author Keilah Worth, PhD. Unfortunately, violence is one of the most popular forms of entertainment. That says a lot about society.

Now, what could I use to help someone else, and myself, with aggression?

First and foremost, realize that uncontrolled anger leads to uncontrolled deeds. Anger is a normal and, sometimes, healthy emotion, but - as pretty much everyone knows, if it's uncontrolled, it can be extremely destructive.

Has anyone ever told you to just punch a pillow; a bag; a doll that looks like your ex? It's called Catharsis, and it's widely believed to ease tension and filter aggression - but in reality, it's quite the contrary. The more you act aggressive, the more aggressive you are going to be. When it comes to choosing which anger management techniques to use, keep this in mind: aggression leads to aggression.

"Take a deep breath!" "Count to ten!" "Bite your tongue!" Sound familiar? I recommend reciting them to yourself to calm down inner agitation. In my personal life - when I've felt on the edge of an outburst, I've left right then to go on a walk; not only does removing myself from a heated situation help to calm me down, but it also gives me the peace and quiet that I need in order to collect my thoughts and start focusing on a solution.

I've mentioned in a past essay which stress relieving techniques I personally like to use [here]; whether it's a fleeting annoyance or a full-fledged rage, the same techniques can apply.

Psychology Essay: Interpersonal Relationships.

What did you find was of value to you in the material on interpersonal relations? How will you use it in your own life?

"Opposites attract" is a commonly held phrase and belief, but the reality is - as confirmed by the studies of Meyer and Pepper in 1977 - those who seemed to be “opposites” were more likely to suffer marital conflicts and less likely to stay together. The better-adjusted couples were more alike in terms of needs and qualities like aggressiveness, autonomy, nurturance, and impulsiveness than poorly adjusted couples.

Another good point from this week was that, for a relationship to be carried out successfully, it is vital that both partners have approximately equivalent levels of passion, friendship, and commitment. If one partner has a narrower attachment than the other, the relationship is likely to flounder due to the couple’s dissimilar priorities.

Personally - I see a lot of misconceptions in action in the world. Contrary to the popular cliché's, love is much more than just an overpowering romantic feeling. I liked that the material this week brought out:

"People with similarly held beliefs and attitudes are more likely to become involved and stay involved with each other."

If a couple has entered a serious relationship, and especially if they are considering marriage, having important issues such as: values; concepts of each one's role in marriage; where and how you will live; views on raising children; immediate and long-range goals and how you will achieve those; etc. - are not only frankly discussed, but in harmony.

Going along with the material's point on both partners contributing equivalent levels of passion, friendship, and commitment - personally, I can't stress that enough. A successful relationship boils down to both partners having equal amounts of genuine concern and love for each other - and I want to highlight again, that genuine love for a person is more than an overpowering romantic feeling. It is balanced by reason and deep respect for the other person, and it is neither self-centered nor selfish.

When you are really in love, you care just as much for the other person's welfare and happiness as you do your own. You do not let overpowering emotion destroy good judgment.

Psychology Discussion: Judgements - Attribution & Attitudes.

If our attitudes flow in part from our attributions, it would seem that our attributions for others behaviors are rather important. How much time and energy do you invest in making sure you aren't guilty of the fundamental attribution error or the self-serving bias?

Personally, this is something that I try very hard in my life to avoid; I've been guilty of doing it in the past, without really ever realizing it, but since becoming aware of the typical human tendency some time ago, I've made it a point to not be guilty of this in my own life.

I think what it really boils down to, are two things:

• Learning to place yourself into another person's shoes.

• Realizing that you simply don't [always, at least] know everything about another person's situation.
- Even if it's someone that you are [very] close to.

As the material brought out for Self-Serving Bias:

"One's own external factors are given far more weight than internal factors in explanations of failures."

Between the two judgment errors listed here, I'll admit that this is the one that I have been the most guilty of. My own personal experiences with that have taught me that, even if you are aware of external factors and what the person may be experiencing, there may be internal factors that you are simply not aware of.

Psychology Essay: Physical Atrraction.

The text makes the comment that the most influential thing in liking early in a relationship is physical attractiveness. Would you agree with that? Why or why not?

Agreed.

During the very first impressions, initial judgments are made entirely on the basis of external observable factors - such as physical appearance, dress, and observed behavior. Whether or not one is even aware of it, consideration is immediately given to whether or not one finds that person physically attractive.

In the second stage of a relationship - the building stage, in which both people in the relationship continue to make value judgments about each other, learn about each other, and decide whether they want to invest more time and energy into pursuing the relationship - the nature of interactions between people becomes less superficial, and more focused on whether like or love emotions are present in the relationship.

But early in the relationship, yes, physical attraction is the most influential thing.

Psychology Essay: Decision Making In Groups.

What in the material on "Groups" did you find useful? How will you apply it in your life?

The material brought out how effective brainstorming can be when making decisions within a group setting, in which a large number of ideas or alternatives can be given in a short time period. For this to be carried out effectively, the material broke down brainstorming into two stages:

• Idea Generation: No ideas are rejected in the initial round, and ideas flow freely as a result.

• Assessment: Each alternative is assessed by the group for feasibility.

I also liked the nominal group technique, which is very similar to brainstorming, except it uses an anonymous approach to reduce conflict between individuals, like so:

After a problem is presented to a group, each member offers ideas for solutions in writing, and the ideas are presented anonymously to the group and discussed. This technique is very effective for groups that, while needing to make decisions together, have not necessarily bonded and achieved a cooperative spirit. It permits issues that are pertinent to the group as a whole to be examined separately from the involved personalities.

I can see myself making practical use of both of these, whether it's with a professional committee, or my family - but I especially admired the nominal group technique. As we all know, just because conflicts arises, life doesn't stop; things still need to be done, and decisions still need to be made. The nominal technique helps you to focus on these decisions, and not the people involved, when doing so is a challenge.

I was introduced to brainstorming back when I was in primary school, so I grew up knowing how effective that technique is, but the nominal technique is new to me. Communication was not a very strong positive point in my household growing up, so anything that promotes positive communication - especially when conflict arises - is of great value to me.

Psychology Essay: Group Conflict.

What will you take from the material on "Group Conflict" that you will apply in your own life? How will you apply it? What are you already using/doing now that is effective? Give an example.

As everyone knows, conflicts and disputes exist everywhere, among all people, and they are an inevitable part of life. Group conflicts involve several elements - including emotions, needs, perceptions, power, and values. Emotions and feelings can complicate or create conflicts, particularly when suppressed or ignored, and are strongest when issues of personal expression, self-concept, shame, and pride are involved. They also often lead to anger and potentially violent outbursts. Power also influences conflicts, and the misuse of power causes conflicts.

The material also brought out this good point:

Even when there are measures in place to prevent failure - trust, reliable avenues for communication, a competent leader, and a sense of how to resolve conflicts over group goals and personal issues are necessary.

Covey’s seven-habit philosophy is a useful tool for managing and avoiding conflict. As he brings out in his book, the process of honest and open communication and an attitude of seeking understanding lead to more effective and constructive interactions among people. It's also very important to learn how to think win-win, as opposed to win-lose. Look for solutions that are mutually beneficial.

A common response to conflict is the "fight or flight" response. By default, most people tend to either respond aggressively [i.e., forcing and competing], or otherwise, retreating [i.e., remaining silent and giving in] - but neither fighting nor fleeing is a constructive response to conflict. Instead of thinking fight-or-flight, think unite.

One important thing in particular that I would like to bring out about being competitive within the group that one should be working with, and not against - analyze what competition is for a moment. Competition is a struggle between members that determines which viewpoint is dominant without permitting the option of compromise. While having a competitive edge in business is good when dealing with competition, it can destroy the social bonds that preserve the group [i.e., lack of progress and resentment] if directed towards one's team and especially if left unchecked.

I really liked this point from the material this week:

Compromise and collaboration tend to generate mutually satisfactory outcomes. Collaboration involves three elements:

• Confrontation
- Open and honest acknowledgment and addressing of problems.

• Integration
- Examining options and decision making.

• Smoothing
- Calming upset feelings and renewing relationships.

It is generally the result of honest mutual concern about the issue and the welfare of all the group members - and it usually results in a win-win solution, fosters commitment and positivity, and reduces conflict.

This goes beyond business; this can definitely be applied into daily, personal life. This is wonderful advice for sorting out conflicts of all kinds. Personally, I'll admit that when I feel unheard, my default reaction is a defensive one - and this stems from a feeling that no one else will do this for me. It's a reaction rooted in fear, more than anger. The material on integrating differences is very practical knowledge, and helpful to me, personally. Mary Parker Follett emphasized creative and mutually beneficial solutions - "this approach focuses on not merely collaboration and cooperation between parties, but also recognition of the needs of both and an intent to meet both sets of needs."

To my credit, it's safe to say that I'm fairly good at not lying to myself; I call it like I see it, even with myself. Maintaining meaningful relationships is important to me, because I value the input from people that I love and trust. Only to a point, do I now accept the 'take me as I am' mentality that so many people place value on - while I do get the point of what many people are trying to get across by that statement, I don't allow myself to use this as an excuse for not building character. I'm always interested in bettering myself - and I know I'm not perfect, so the reality is, there will always be need for improvement - therefore, I'm going to try my best to keep improving. Therefore, I value constructive criticism, and I am open to what people honestly tell me out of love.

I also am fairly good at demonstrating empathy. I try my best to be there for people I care about, and listen to them; I highly encourage others to develop [and hold onto] this beautiful quality, as well. I've managed to hold onto it, despite how some people have taken it for granted and abused it in the past, and I'm so glad that I have. I know for a fact that the rewarding relationships I am now able to enjoy, would not be the same without it, and I know that I am a better person for having it.